I recently stumbled upon a company called Liq that has come up with the brilliant and marketable idea of liquor-based popsicles. I cannot imagine a better idea.
Licking my way to drunk is the best idea ever
The only thing annoying about this is that it seems that I cannot yet purchase these in a retail establishment. Come on guys, this is the perfect way to get drunk inconspicuously on the fly—and they will most def be at that 90s party I’m dreaming of. You hear that Zima? Get your shit together!
A friend of mine was recently clued in to the old school (as in, like, 6 years ago) short-lived animated series Clone High.
Ghandi was the MAN
This show was awesome. It is super underrated, and one of the only decent things MTV has managed to spit out in the last decade. When you were a kid, didn’t you wonder what would happen if famous historical figures were modern-day teenagers? Don’t shake your head at me—think about the times you were high… Yeah, there you go. Right before you saw the frog coming out of your mom’s china cabinet saying “eat spaghetti” at you. Right on. I mean…drugs are bad…
Anywho, you can buy this animated greatness on DVD. I think we should all band together and rant at MTV until they resurrect this bitch like Fox did when it finally got the hint it was being a dumbass about Family Guy. But for now, if you’ve got student loans, just watch it on YouTube.
In the meantime, check out a snippet from one of our latest fav episodes, which has spawned the catch-phrases “what you SAAAAYYYYYYYY?!” and “say WHHHHAAAAATTTT?!”
A couple months ago when I was bored, I was watching a behind-the-scenes show on HBO about the movie Funny People, and it featured a bunch of bits by this comedian Aziz Ansari whose stage name is “Raaaaaaaandy.”
This dude is a genius because his shit is alllllll gimmick. If his act wasn’t so stylized, he wouldn’t even be funny. But he hypes himself up so much that it works in the end. And it is fucking hilarious. One night when I was bar hopping with a bunch of dudes, one in the group used “Raaaaaaaandy” catch phrases all night, and it never got old. That’s when you know that shit is catching on.
Watch this shit and and try not to laugh.
You can check out more Raaaaaaaandy goodness at his site.
Nothing about this situation could ever wreck a hard-on. Ever. In fact, it’s a kitty, so it’s suggestive. Get it. Kitty? Stop judging me, you know this is awesome.
If you already felt bad about your life in the GD2, Mr Jones has created a watch that will simultaneously allow you to monitor the wasted seconds of your life as they tick away AND remind you to end it all, thereby fulfilling your emo potential.
Remember, down the street not across the tracks
Don’t donate your Audioslave albums to charity before you go—the rest of us actually want to live, jackass.
Bell Biv DeVoe happened when New Edition was dropping members like Madonna dropped her panties. Bobby Brown had humped and snorted his way to some platinum by ditching the group, and the rest of the players were shuffling around aimlessly. So Ricky Bell, Michael Bivins, and Ronnie DeVoe decided to hook their shit up with a new group.
BBD rocked that shit
A Bell Biv DeVoe playlist should include:
“Poison”
“Do Me!”
Okay, they had some other albums, and consequently other tracks, but let’s be real—no one gives a shit. Apparently they have a new album dropping this year and are allegedly touring—no shit. The point is that they have left us with so many words of wisdom over the years like, “never trust a big butt and a smile” (which I disagree with by the way, fucking misogynists) and “smack it up, flip it, rub it down.”
Now you know
It’s drivin me outta my mind… Don’t act like you don’t know the words. Put your skates on and work it like you own it.
Oh yeah, baby. Zima is back. And I, for one, am psyched. All I need is a bag of Jolly Ranchers, some hot 90s tunes, and my crew of rad bffs singing “Regulate” in unison and I can have my very own once-in-a-lifetime-dream-within-a-dream party. OMFG you guys, awesomegasm!!!
Alright, look, do not look me in the blog and tell me that you have no idea who Dr. Tran is. It is two-thousand-and-fucking-nine. You have had years to watch this hottness. There is really no excuse.
FYI, Dr. Tran is the new IQ test, and the most reliable of its kind. If you don’t find this video funny, there is a 95% chance that you can’t figure out how to make Jell-O, flunked out of community college several times, and are illiterate (which is cool, because that means that you can’t comprehend that I’m talking shit about you right now).
One of the best parts is the back of the package, which includes what I interpret to be social commentary:
Damn, this means I can't use these in a meth lab
Remember kids, before you buy a house, check to make sure it was never a hillbilly meth lab—or you’ll be sorry when your lungs start to collapse from breathing in that bitch.
After 7 was a trio that included two of Babyface’s actual brothers.
After 7 loves the ladies
An After 7 playlist should include:
“Til You Do Me Right”
“Can’t Stop”
“Ready or Not”
And apparently you can still book them as entertainment for parties. Hell to the YES! Do you hear that kids? Sounds like a good idea for a birthday present (hint, hint). Or my wedding…if I get married before they die.
Watch how paying for this 90s goodness would totally be worth it:
